Black holes...and revelations?

I'm twenty-two and trying.
I want to be twenty-three and getting.

When i sleep at day because i can't sleep at night, i wake up and i feel i'm losing something. Right now i feel like at the beginning of that race. I was there, sitting, with a helmet, only listening to distant noises and my own heart beating.
I could feel...
Commitment
Fear
Anxiety
Eagerness
But in the end, i was ready and willing.

Tarantula- The Smashing Pumpkins
"I want to be there when you're happy
I want to love you when you're sad
Can't stand the morning rain?
Get out I'll take your place then"

are you happy?